Chief Rabbi Isaac Sacca – October 2024
With the arrival of Yom Kippur, it is common to receive dozens of generic messages asking for forgiveness: “If I offended you or did something wrong this year, I want to apologize.” But is this attitude correct? What is the origin of this behavior?
Yom Kippur is a day of forgiveness and atonement. In preparation for this sacred day, it is essential to engage in introspection and a sincere correction of our faults. To carry out this process effectively, it is important to distinguish between two types of transgressions: those committed against God and those committed against others. Each requires a particular approach to achieve authentic atonement.
Transgressions against God affect a person’s relationship with the Almighty. In these cases, sincere confession and a firm commitment not to repeat the mistake are sufficient to receive Divine forgiveness.
On the other hand, transgressions against others cannot be resolved solely with confession before God. It is necessary to acknowledge the error directly to the affected person, make amends with them as much as possible, and receive their forgiveness. Only when the affected party has genuinely forgiven will God be willing to forgive that transgression. It is important to clarify that if a person sincerely asks for forgiveness up to three times and is not forgiven, they are no longer responsible.
This principle helps us understand the popular custom of offering generic apologies. People tend to think this practice is enough to ease their conscience. However, this attitude is incorrect. Properly asking for forgiveness requires being specific and sincere. A real apology should be personalized, concrete, and honest, ideally face-to-face, expressing something like: “I want to apologize for what I did on such an occasion; I acknowledge that I was wrong and caused you harm in this way.”
This form of apology is much more authentic and genuine as it reflects true remorse and a sincere desire to improve the relationship with others and with God. If we adopt this way of apologizing, we will be able to connect with others and with God more effectively, from a sincere and honest place.
